Banham Zoo – pushy giraffes and a busy red panda

Feeding a small herd of giraffes is not as easy as you might expect. Watching them gracefully sweep across their paddock towards you, their liquid eyes gleaming up at you beguilingly from beneath long eyelashes, it’s hard to imagine how powerful they really are.
Holding willow branches out to them, my mum and I realised pretty quickly that the number one rule of giraffe feeding is: hold on tightly. For these ‘gentle’ giants would easily rip the entire branch out of your hands, in their lust for tender leaves and chewy strips of bark.
Their keeper, who was very kind and informative, tried telling us lots of giraffe facts, but I was rather distracted as one of them mistook the strap on my camera for a tasty shoot, and I was left wrestling her for it. Luckily I won that battle, and she went back to delicately removing strips of bark with her long, grey tongue.
Giraffe tongues are usually about 19-20 inches, and we were told to mind our feet in case the herd’s two curious babies (adorable with tufty horns) poked theirs up onto the platform.

“Watch out for that one, she has a bit of a cold and caught someone with a sneeze the other day,” the keeper told me cheerfully, as the lady in question slobbered her way up my branch. I had such a wonderful view of her flat teeth, lightly freckled nose, and those appealing dark eyes that I wouldn’t have cared if she had snotted all over me, although thankfully she didn’t!
I would recommend the experience (an incredible £7.50) to anyone in need of an upper body workout – just make sure you don’t have too many bags to hold on to, as you’ll need all your grip available for the branches, and get someone else to take your photos so you don’t lose your camera to a feisty herbivore.
We strolled around the rest of the zoo in a happy giraffe-slobbery haze, visiting the cheetahs in time for their feed. The education officer threw them chunks of beef, which they asked for noisily with their strange, kitten-like meows.
Banham is a great zoo for big cats, with dozing tigers, stunning leopards in their spotted jumpsuits, and an adorable family of five snow leopards, curled in blissful sleep. Some of the smaller cats looked decidedly less happy, with an ocelot pacing his modest pen. I’m hopeful the zoo will be expanding these enclosures in the future, as there seemed to be lots of building work going on, and they don’t need to worry about space. In fact Banham has a lovely feeling of spaciousness, with an enormous tiger enclosure, and paddocks all around for their working horses and donkeys.
There was also a delightful red panda who kept us amused for about half an hour, wandering around his pen, stuffing bamboo leaves into his mouth and generally looking like a big ginger teddy bear.

The talks are worth making a point of visiting, particularly Amazing Animals, where I got to hold more rainbow lorikeets (always a delight!) and get a close view of a kinkajou, which was utterly captivating. Now my mission in life is to hold one of these supple raccoon-like animals, and feel its soft, prehensile tail draped around my neck…


Although having googled them I found this story, which might just have changed my mind: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/44123-woman-in-bus-kinkajou-sort-of-horror.

London zoo - randy warthogs and butterfly hands

It's hard not to feel affection for London Zoo. For one thing it's the country's oldest zoo, as shown in its many listed buildings. The twisted concrete structure once used for penguins, which was entirely inappropriate but very beautiful, has been preserved, but happily the penguins have a brand new beach area which they seemed delighted with. Sadly the giraffes remain in their old-fashioned house, and I watched one gloomily failing to reach the trees growing in the zebra pen, its tongue stretched as far as it would go.
The giraffe enclosure is by far the most upsetting in the zoo, but I also saw lots of satisfied creatures, none more so than the pygmy hippo, preparing his mud wallow by treading it down in a circle, before settling down blissfully with a happy sigh.






I'm equally joyous in the butterfly house, where a kindly volunteer places a stunning Indian Leaf butterfly on to my hand.





It's a grey, humid day when I visit the zoo, and the gorillas are inside their shelter. I watch the enormous silverback settle into his bed of straw, mice chasing around his ankles. As he nibbles at his wrists, picking off any bugs, I eavesdrop on two volunteers talking about his parentage - apparently he was born at Dublin Zoo and his father is twice his size, so he's expected to grow.
I wander off to see the warthogs, past the African hunting dogs who are, as usual, fast asleep in their marbled pyjamas. There's a strange noise, like a motorbike revving, and at first I think it's coming from a boat on the river, but suddenly realise it's coming from the male warthog, who is doggedly pursuing a reluctant female. He chases her around the enclosure, before she urinates - presumably to prove to him she isn't in season - which he sniffs sadly. He stops his awful noise, and lies down in the mud. Never have you seen a more dejected creature.
Friday is a great day to visit the zoo, particularly the week before half term, as it's nice and quiet. I get great views of the otters crunching up prawns in their pool, and lions asleep on their wooden platforms.

Shepreth - curious meerkats and a lemur on my head

I have always had a soft spot for Shepreth. Small but perfectly formed, it has a surprising number of animals on site.
I was there last Friday to write a 'Love Your Zoo Week' article for the Cambridge News, and was lucky enough to get up close and personal (with a particular skunk, very personal) with various creatures.
I started by cuddling Pepe (as in Le Pew, although actually he didn't smell at all) who dozed in my arms, before trying to lick my lipbalm (skunks prefer Carmex)
Reluctantly I handed him back to the park's director, and was allowed in with a boisterous group of five meerkats. I settled down in the sand and handed them some live locusts (I was very brave). They crunched away delightedly, and didn't seem to mind me being there. In fact, one of them felt so comfortable he tried to climb my back. Perhaps I would have made a good look out post?

It was then on to see the cusimanses (mongoose-type, brown-striped critters) and their less welcome neighbours the grumpy porcupine family, who keeper Grace kept well away from me. They were a little bit reluctant, we suspect they weren't terribly hungry, but soon enough an intrepid individual climbed on my lap to take some raw mince from a bowl, which he dragged away, never taking his beady eyes off me.
Later it was back to see my old friends the ringtailed lemurs (who I have been fortunate enough to meet and greet several times in the past). Interestingly, the social structure has completely changed since I was last there, so now the formerly bullied long-tails are now top dogs (as it were) and lord it over the short-tails. I'm not quite sure why that is. Anyway I did my best to make sure everyone got their fair share of banana.


I then got to cuddle with a less furry individual - a 10 foot python, who was very heavy and rather stunning. My final 'treat' was putting my hand in a tank of piranhas. The problem is, once someone has dared me to do something, I generally will... But actually they were very well mannered, hardly even glancing up at the phantom hand floating above them.
The keepers (and animals) were so welcoming, I wish I could go back right now!

Linton - cotton top tamarins and a dried up duck pond

I'm not sure what it is about Linton Zoo that I find depressing... Perhaps it's the over grown evergreens which block most of the light; the snow leopards washing in their tiny enclosure; or simply the fact that my mum took me there the day after my parents announced their divorce when I was 13... but the place has always given me a slightly uneasy feeling.
I visited last Bank Holiday Monday, and found the place exactly as I remembered it from my childhood. Rather dark, uncared for and with the same grim-looking children's play park.
"He looks about as miserable as me." Said my mum flatly, as we watched a leopard peer gloomily out from his house. His cage, and many of the other enclosures, were mysteriously decorated with dead Christmas trees.
Two snow leopards washed; a pair of lions dozed; a shell duck looked for water in an empty pond.
I know that Linton has won awards in the past for its standard of care, but the place to me has a feeling of neglect. More like a zoo from the 1950s or 60s.
It wasn't all bad: we found a family of cotton top tamarins grooming one another in their house, and watched a giant tortoise attempt to eat a piece of carrot far too big for it.
I have to say though, if you are looking for a zoo in the Cambridge area, Shepreth has much more going for it.

Bristol - escaping kookaburras and tiny lemurs

Yesterday we escaped the bunting and Union Jack plastic hats of the imminent Royal nuptials and headed for sunny Bristol.
The zoo had a real family feel, bustling with small children whining for ice cream and generally being poorly educated by their parents (Why must the largest animal in a cage automatically be "the daddy"?)
Bristol Zoo has a pleasant scale to it - there's enough to warrant its £14 entry fee, while still being small enough to see in a day. After sweating it out in the aquarium house, we lolled on the grass, and were treated to an educational display featuring an enchanting armadillo, who scuttled around on the stage, knocking over logs to find tasty titbits. Much less cooperative was Sydney, the croaking kookaburra who seemed to be giving his slightly frazzled Scottish keeper the run around (wing around?)
I could see his point though - I mean, she was the one who encouraged him to 'kill' the deadly rubber snake she waggled at him. How was he to know when to let go? Certainly not when she lifted him up by it...nor when she tried to distract him with actual food. No, he wanted to make sure it was really dead. Sensible if you ask me. While she ran her fingers through her hair in exasperation she explained that he was behaving relatively well, compared to recently when she'd spend three days trying to trail him around Clifton after a flying display went wrong. They do say never work with animals or children. Obviously she didn't get the memo.
Other highlights were a string of mesmeric leaf cutter ants, the surprisingly lively aye ayes and an Asiatic lion cub tucking into a cow's head with gusto.
The 'ahh bless' moment of the day came in the nocturnal house, with a teeny tiny grey mouse lemur (think capable of charming dinner guests by producing one from a tea cup). We originally thought (naively) that it was trying to get a better look at us, as it reared up on the end of a branch. As its expression became more and more strained, we realised it was in fact slavering at some sort of grasshopper/locust type creepy crawly which was attached to the glass in front of us. The lemur climbed to the top of the window, and proceeded to dangle by one back paw, stretching its forepaws in vain at its prospective lunch. After some minutes of intense desperation, the insect teasingly shifted an ill-judged inch up the glass, where it met a mercifully speedy end. We cheered. The lemur contemplated how it would manage the locust, while upside down and hanging on with one foot. Naturally, it stuffed the entire creature into its mouth, closing its tiny eyes with unadulterated bliss.
I reached my own state of bliss when I realised there was scope for animal interaction at Bristol, in the lorikeets' forest. My boyfriend (not a bird fan) was sweet enough to come in with me (covering his nest-like head of curls with a protective arm) and take some photos of me rapturously offering the colourful birds a cup of feed. Apart from a brief squabble on my wrist, they were well behaved, and posed rather well I feel. I hope you agree.

Lions and tigers and bears

Why zoos? Why a guide? Why this girl?
I've always loved zoos, and I see no sign of that fading as I get older (sorry long-suffering family)... but let's be honest, they are an expensive day out, and more importantly, vary in quality of variety/standard of care/chips in the cafe.
I've therefore set up this grass-lined blog to review some of the country's zoos (not to mention safari parks, wildlife exhibits in theme parks, etc) to give you an overview of what they have on offer.
Bring on the face paint, helium balloons and penguin pencil toppers, I'm off to Bristol Zoo tomorrow.....